Review - Live Free or Die Hard

by Mr. Blunderson

Let me fill you on the history of the franchise as it relates to me:

Die Hard - I loved it.
Die Hard 2 - I hated it (Die Harder... are you kidding me?! Renny Harlin... are you kidding me?!)
Die Hard: With A Vengeance - I liked it, but not enough to own my own copy or anything.

After hearing rumblings of a fourth installment in the franchise, I was quite anxious for Live Free or Die Hard to hit the big screen. As the agoraphobic critic, I naturally didn't see it until my wife brought it home on DVD, but that in no way diminishes my anticipation. It also didn't diminish my enjoyment of the film.

I can't lie to you, this movie is ridiculous. Justin Long is perfect as a nerdly hacker who never once uses a Mac (way to avoid the type casting there buddy), Timothy Olyphant is sufficiently bad ass as the second best villain in the series (no one will ever unseat Hans Gruber), and of course there is John McClane himself, Mr. New York Cop, kicking ass (he doesn't have time to take names because he is too busy kicking more ass), outrunning explosions, dodging bullets, breaking necks like it's going out of style, giving a kung fu hotty the shaft, and as always creating at least as much destruction and chaos as the terrorists he is fighting. And lest I forget: Kevin Smith. Oh hells yes. His cameo allows for a few nods to geekdom. Man that shit is everywhere!

One of my few complaints would be that it was clear this was not originally written as a Die Hard flick. If you have any familiarity with the series that fact will be apparent quite early on. The vibe just ain't right. Another thing that didn't jive for me was the angle involving John McClane's daughter. With Justin Long by his side Bruce Willis already had one girl in constant peril. Did the plot truly require another? Granted she was not your typical damsel in distress cliche (consider the lineage and all) but you get the idea.

It's also sad when terrorists are so technologically proficient they can locate McClane's daughter in a matter of seconds in one of the worlds largest cities but they never bother to look up McClane's service record? That kind of stupidity has to be punished. Of course it is. And how. But what do I know? If I was a terrorist I would have packed it in after some rogue hero guy launched a car into a helicopter... but that's just me.

But all is redeemed in the final moments when McClane kills the bad guy... not so much that he kills him (that's not a surprise) but how. FUCK YES! That moment was so Die Hard it nearly brought tears to my eyes. It's been weeks since I watched it yet it still makes me smile. At the end of the day, that's what Die Hard is all about: fun, fun, fun. It might be messy, and it might be full of technical errors that would drive anyone who knows anything about a computer batty, but there is enough blessed mayhem and Bruce Willis that even I could turn a blind eye and enjoy it.

As such, Live Free or Die Hard rates a "way decent" on the Mr. Blunderson scale.