Mr. Blunderson's DVD pick of the week

This was one of those weeks I needed a lift from my DVD collection. Between a bad back, mild depression, and getting blasted out of my car because when I started it I forgot the last time I was driving I was listening to "Hit Me With Your Best Shot" and had left the volume turned up to 11... luckily, my little black tower of magic discs had just the answer: Balls of Fury.

Dan Folger is hilarious, and screw you if you don't think so. After watching this movie for the first time since I reviewed it I am convinced that Mr. Fogler makes the BEST "I've just been hit/kicked/other in the balls" faces. Not only are they hysterical they are brutally convinving.

The Good - Besides Fogler? Christopher Walken as the villain. Cameos from Patton Oswalt, david Koechner, Diedrich Dader, not to mention Robert Patrick reprising his degenerate gambler schtick from the Sopranos. Maggie Q, James Hong, and George Lopez give solid supporting efforts. And lets not forget all those Kung Fu in jokes.

The Bad - In a time where the R-rated comedy has been given a second chance at life one has to wonder how this film would have fared if they'd gone balls to the wall... so to speak. Not that this film isn't plenty crude. It' just makes me wonder what could have been.

The Last Word - I've almost watched this movie about a hundred times since it arrived in my collection. Now that I finally got waround to it, I'm sorry I waited this long to watch it again.

Public Service Announcement

from Mr Blunderson (the agoraphobic film guy)

Remember boys and girls, Watchmen sucks. Any money you might spend on this film use to buy a shit-load of candy. You can brush your teeth but you can't do anything to keep this piece of trash from rotting your brain once you've seen it.

Word From Big C Vol. 33

Surfs Up

This is a great movie, I mean Penguins surfing on some secluded beach somewhere it does not get much better than that. Not to mention the whacked out surfing chicken. Good for a look-C.

Pirates of The Caribbean: At Worlds End

I have heard from some people that this movie is just a long winded boat ride with a little bit of action. After watching this movie I have decided that they were wrong, this movie is very exciting and visually stimulating and I thought the story was solid and fun.

Meet The Robinsons

This movie is fun for the family goodness for a more in depth review check out Noodles Blunderson's review of this movie. Good for a look-C

The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian

As a fan of this series and time frame I have to say that this feature is very engaging and draws you into the story and the characters are solid. The fight sequences are sweet and the mythical creatures are very thrilling to watch in this picture.

Twilight

I have my problems with all the hype on this book and movie. I have to say that I did enjoy this movie a lot more then I though I would. I gotta say that the "artistic licence" that they took with the vampire lour was annoying and should have done a better job with such things. Also the bonus features are sub par and I don't need to see that gargoyle of a director Catherine Hardwicke before every GOD DAMN lame features and shit that are the bonus features.

Catching Up

by Mr. Blunderson

I'm going to rock these Big C style so hold onto your butts. All of these are films that have come and gone but I gotta say something.

Coraline

Best 3D movie I've seen since the in your face renaissance began. Every 3D flick I've seen since and including Meet the Robinsons feels like a gimmick compared to what goes on visually here. Is it irony that this film kicks so much hi-tech arse when at it's core this a lo-tech stop-motion masterpiece? Perhaps, folks. Perhaps.

Story follows a girl with busy parents who move into a apartment building filled with bizarre and eclectic type folks. Former vaudeville stars who really love their scotty dogs, a dude training mice... you get the idea. Coraline finds a portal to another world where the goofy neighbors are cool and her parents seemingly live for her, but since this is based on a Niel Gaiman you know all is not what it seems.

Sure this looks a little like Nightmare before Christmas since this was directed by Henry Selick (who also directed that cross-holiday staple) but this movie is fun and scary, yet manages to be kid friendly. It also looks amazing. This is a 3D film that really felt like it had to be seen in 3D to be truly appreciated. I'm going to give Coraline an Oh hells yes and say thanks for making a film with flying scotty dogs - a realization of one of my deepest fears.

Zack & Miri Make a Porno

Kevin Smith... I love this guy. He can do no wrong here with a solid cast and an excellent script. I just want to say a big F You to anyone who saw this and said "Smith just wanted to make a Judd Apatow movie." If that's really how you feel then you obviously haven't seen a Kevin Smith movie and you are probably too busy jerking off to Watchmen to notice I just dissed you.

It breaks my heart to know this film didn't get the recognition it deserved at the box-office. All I can say is get over yourself. See the DVD, get a dutch rudder, and witness the genius that is Kevin Smith. To say I give this film an Oh Hells Yes would be an understatement.

Nick and Nora's Infinite Playlist

If you don't like Michael Cera, then I don't know if you can stomach this movie. But if you don't like Kat Dennings then there is something wrong with you. Yes I said it. She rocks this movie up and down, then sideways, then three or four other directions that probably exist but have yet to be identified by science.

When the credits rolled I knew I had watched a movie that I had enjoyed. Viewing it was a pleasant experience, I won't lie. It didn't knock me over as a soon to be classic, but I felt good all over so that has to be a plus, right? The plot isn't the most original SPOILER ALERT (boy who just got his heart ripped out meets girl, boy likes girl a lot, boy pretty much blows it with girl, boy gets his shit together and gets girl back) but this is one of those cases where you don't care. I would watch these characters all day long if I could even if all they were doing was watching TV and doing laundry.

BUT, I know this movie isn't for everyone. I'm a sap at heart and I love movies where the characters are more important than what they do. In the midst of the R-rated grown-up comedy revolution (which I support completely, don't get me wrong) it's nice to see a movie that is a little more low-key. It's sweet and funny and ever so quotable, so I'm going to give this movie a your loss if you hate it on the Mr. Blunderson scale.

Word from Big C Vol. 32

Sex Drive

This movie is good for a laugh I suggest that you take a look at this movie.

Still Waiting

Not worth your money unlike the first installment of Waiting.

Open Letter To David Hayter

Note from the editor - to be fair, before I read the open letter from Mr. Hayter, I only disliked Watchmen. Now I hate it. I think his letter is the worst kind of self-promoting masturbation. Anyone who has to tell us that the depth of their film can only be truly appreciated after multiple viewings is complete and utter poon cheese. If his movie was so damn great I'd be watching it again right now with my fellow sheep, as opposed to sitting at home with a heating pad on my aching back (a condition I can not blame on Watchmen sadly). But since we're not, Fuck him and fuck his movie. You want me to see a movie in the theater multiple times? Make movie that doesn't suck Dr. Manhattan's blue balls.

Dear Mr. Hayter,

I just read your "open letter" and I saw your movie. It was a waste of time and money. It was obvious to me that the people who made the film (and by that I mean the director and screenwriters, etc.) really liked the source material, obviously you knew it was really, really cool, but none of you seemed to actually get it.

Your movie isn't bleak, it isn't profound, and it isn't even good. If it wasn't for Jackie Earle Haley--and I will be the first to shout it from the top of every mountain on earth that he owned this movie--I would right now be hunting each of you down to personally get a refund of my time and money because as I said before, the Watchmen film was a waste of both.

Also I am agoraphobic, so chances of me leaving the house are next to none so sleep easy.

I left the fucking house for your movie and I could have gotten more enjoyment out of shoving the graphic novel up my ass... something I still might do since I've had a bit to drink tonight and I have some time on my hands.

And kudos for having only a snail-mail address to your representation on your official website so I can't send you an incendiary email. Like I'm gonna waste a stamp on your sorry ass.

I appreciate that you came up with an ending that "works" but apart from that the script comes across as a cut and paste job which makes me wonder why you deserve a screenwriting credit at all.

In your letter you say that your movie has balls, but if it really did you would have put the squid on the screen. That would have been ballsy.

Thanks for nothing, if I ever meet you in real life I'll introduce you to whoever I'm with (although since I am the agoraphobic film critic this will obviously only happen if you visit me at home) as the guy who owes me five-fifty.

Thank god I saw Watchmen as a matinee. Fuck you for making me wish I'd spent that money on Paul Blart.

best wishes and sincerely yours,
Mr. N Blunderson