by Mr. Blunderson
written & directed by Zach Helm
After Stranger Than Fiction, people were already comparing Zach Helm to Charlie Kaufman. Now that I've seen his most recent effort I doubt there is enough positive energy in the universe to prevent one of my "I told you so" tirades. Let time be the judge, folks. Take some Valium, relax, and wait for several decades before we start saying things like that.
As for Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium (ow, finger cramp!) it is best summed up by my 5 year old son who said "that was silly," and he didn't mean that as a compliment. As for me, I thought it was light and goofy, but it really sagged any time Dustin Hoffman wasn't on screen. Mind you, I'm not saying it was great while he was there... only better.
The resolution was too predictable thus yawn inducing, and the story left a number of lose ends that only served to further annoy me. Add to that the fact that Natalie Portman plays a young woman who is supposedly brilliant at playing piano (even runs her fingers playing notes in the air as a "cute" little thing she does) yet demonstrates horrible, horrible hand position technique. I took piano formally for eight years and even the nicest and sweetest of my teachers (I was among her last students as she was quite old at the time) would have whacked me across the knuckles with a steel plated ruler and told me to take up the kazoo for holding my hands like that...
But I digress.
There were some good ideas, there were some scattered moments, and Dustin Hoffman was the heavy lifter but even then it's hard to gauge how good he was (better than nearly everything else in the movie), although I did enjoy the fact that Jason Bateman's character never even batted an eye each time he was referred to as "mutant." But moments and an academy award winning actor do not a movie make. Let's keep our fingers crossed that Zach Helm can return to his Stranger Than Fiction form in his future projects, keeping in mind that Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium scores a "meh" on the Mr. Blunderson scale.
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Review - Balls of Fury (2007)
by Mr. Blunderson
written by Thomas Lennon & Robert Ben Garant
directed by Robert Ben Garant
God help me, I had a such a blast watching this movie. It's not great--hell it's probably not even that good but I liked it anyway. I can picture Thomas Lennon and Robert Ben Garant sitting around thinking of all the funny shit they wanted Chirstopher Walken to say so they could spend hours giggling while watching the dailies. Some of the lines work better than others, but at the end of the day it's still Christopher Walken, so what am I complaining about?
It was also funny to see a few stoic faces from classic kung fu cinema doing things that are just plain silly. Balls of Fury is unapologetically cut from the mold of dozens of kung fu films, inserting ping pong in place of karate chops and drop kicks. This film is rough, unpolished and crude, but that's all it was ever meant to be. A lot of the jokes are predictable and most of the best lines are spoken by genre regular James Hong ("it is better to die like a tiger than to live like a pussy") and the Def Leppard shtick seemed like it came from Joe Dirt leftovers, and there was never any question where this film was going and how it would end... but I still had a good time dammit. Please don't hold it against me.
It will never be a classic and there are better ways I could have spent the hour and half, but I'm still giving Balls of Fury a "your loss if you hate it" on the Mr. Blunderson scale.
written by Thomas Lennon & Robert Ben Garant
directed by Robert Ben Garant
God help me, I had a such a blast watching this movie. It's not great--hell it's probably not even that good but I liked it anyway. I can picture Thomas Lennon and Robert Ben Garant sitting around thinking of all the funny shit they wanted Chirstopher Walken to say so they could spend hours giggling while watching the dailies. Some of the lines work better than others, but at the end of the day it's still Christopher Walken, so what am I complaining about?
It was also funny to see a few stoic faces from classic kung fu cinema doing things that are just plain silly. Balls of Fury is unapologetically cut from the mold of dozens of kung fu films, inserting ping pong in place of karate chops and drop kicks. This film is rough, unpolished and crude, but that's all it was ever meant to be. A lot of the jokes are predictable and most of the best lines are spoken by genre regular James Hong ("it is better to die like a tiger than to live like a pussy") and the Def Leppard shtick seemed like it came from Joe Dirt leftovers, and there was never any question where this film was going and how it would end... but I still had a good time dammit. Please don't hold it against me.
It will never be a classic and there are better ways I could have spent the hour and half, but I'm still giving Balls of Fury a "your loss if you hate it" on the Mr. Blunderson scale.
Review - White Noise 2 (2007)
by Mr. Blunderson
written by Matt Venne
directed by Patrick Lussier
After recently getting a look at some good horror movies from the past I figured it was time to venture back into the realm of modern entries to the genre. The first was White Noise 2, a sequel to a 2005 pg-13 film that starred Michael Keaton. I didn't see the original but this is what they refer to as a "stand alone" sequel, meaning it is only related to the first film by name and theme. No characters or plot points carry over as far as my research has revealed.
What White Noise 2 had going for it is that it stars the always easy to watch Nathan Fillion (apparently it is even easier for Mrs. Blunderson to watch him work). There is also some interesting camera work and creepy atmosphere. I must confess that Mrs. Blunderson and I jumped no less than three times in our seats due to some genuine scares (which is part of the fun of watching a scary movie obviously). The special effects were fairly solid.
On the other side of the coin, where this film goes bad (where so many horror films go bad) is that there is no ambiguity at all. Everything going on is explained right down to three digits past the decimal point. At that point all you have left is a movie that had potential but ultimately results in disappointment.
For a straight to DVD release White Noise 2 is better than it could have been but even that is only enough to rate a "just decent" on the Mr. Blunderson scale.
written by Matt Venne
directed by Patrick Lussier
After recently getting a look at some good horror movies from the past I figured it was time to venture back into the realm of modern entries to the genre. The first was White Noise 2, a sequel to a 2005 pg-13 film that starred Michael Keaton. I didn't see the original but this is what they refer to as a "stand alone" sequel, meaning it is only related to the first film by name and theme. No characters or plot points carry over as far as my research has revealed.
What White Noise 2 had going for it is that it stars the always easy to watch Nathan Fillion (apparently it is even easier for Mrs. Blunderson to watch him work). There is also some interesting camera work and creepy atmosphere. I must confess that Mrs. Blunderson and I jumped no less than three times in our seats due to some genuine scares (which is part of the fun of watching a scary movie obviously). The special effects were fairly solid.
On the other side of the coin, where this film goes bad (where so many horror films go bad) is that there is no ambiguity at all. Everything going on is explained right down to three digits past the decimal point. At that point all you have left is a movie that had potential but ultimately results in disappointment.
For a straight to DVD release White Noise 2 is better than it could have been but even that is only enough to rate a "just decent" on the Mr. Blunderson scale.
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
REVIEW - Juno (2007)
by Mr. Blunderson
written by Diablo Cody
directed by Jason Reitman
By now there isn't a lot I could add to the collective commentary about Juno other than I really liked the movie. But that isn't going to stop me rambling on for several paragraphs, cause we all know that won't ever happen.
Everyone is drooling over Diablo Cody as the next big thing, and as amazing as her screenplay is, as much as I enjoyed her characters, I am one of those cynics who believes time will be the ultimate judge on that. On the other hand, there are plenty of people (including myself) who will never write anything this good so Ms. Cody (from her blog I know she is now divorced) should be honored for that achievement. Absolutely.
Unless you have been living under a rock for the last 6 months (and admittedly to me that doesn't sound so bad) then you know that Juno is the story of a 16 year old girl and the direction her life takes vis a vis an unplanned pregnancy. There is a real organic nature to this film for the most part. The characters in Juno's town look like people who live on my street (unlike say the stars of Cloverfield who look like they are waiting for the writers strike to end so they can start in their own 90210, OC, October Road spinnoff/hybrid). They are certainly funnier than the people on my street, but they look real.
After deciding she is going to keep the baby and give it to a couple she finds in the Penny Saver, Juno ventures to the suburbs where the houses are bigger and have much more stucco, and you get that feeling she really is going into a whole other world, maybe even another planet. Here, Jennifer Garner is amazing as a woman who desperately wants to be a mother while avoiding the baby hungry stereotype. Her husband is played by Jason Bateman who answers a question about wanting to be a father where the words don't match the look in his eyes and we as an audience get a glimpse of genuine fear and unease... it was an amazing moment.
Juno's dad and step-mom are played (respectively) by J.K. Simmons and the always solid Allison Janney. Simmons brings his impeccable and gruff comic delivery that you would expect, but gets to demonstrate a subtle range that he never had time for in his brief cameos in the Spiderman movies. Michael Cera is goofy and akward as Bleeker, who is referred to more than seen, which makes the moments when he is on screen even better.
Ellen Page has been heralded by nearly every critic on the planet and I won't disagree. I look forward to seeing what she does next. One place this film could have gone really wrong is by having Juno be a girl who is simply clever and witty beyond her years. Where the character triumphs is in those moments where the 16 year old shows through the bravado, adding a depth to her character that is rarely present in teen comedies.
But that is what makes this a better movie than most. It consistently delivers just a bit more than we would expect and perhaps even deserve, which is why Juno gets an "Oh Hells Yes" on the Mr. Blunderson scale.
written by Diablo Cody
directed by Jason Reitman
By now there isn't a lot I could add to the collective commentary about Juno other than I really liked the movie. But that isn't going to stop me rambling on for several paragraphs, cause we all know that won't ever happen.
Everyone is drooling over Diablo Cody as the next big thing, and as amazing as her screenplay is, as much as I enjoyed her characters, I am one of those cynics who believes time will be the ultimate judge on that. On the other hand, there are plenty of people (including myself) who will never write anything this good so Ms. Cody (from her blog I know she is now divorced) should be honored for that achievement. Absolutely.
Unless you have been living under a rock for the last 6 months (and admittedly to me that doesn't sound so bad) then you know that Juno is the story of a 16 year old girl and the direction her life takes vis a vis an unplanned pregnancy. There is a real organic nature to this film for the most part. The characters in Juno's town look like people who live on my street (unlike say the stars of Cloverfield who look like they are waiting for the writers strike to end so they can start in their own 90210, OC, October Road spinnoff/hybrid). They are certainly funnier than the people on my street, but they look real.
After deciding she is going to keep the baby and give it to a couple she finds in the Penny Saver, Juno ventures to the suburbs where the houses are bigger and have much more stucco, and you get that feeling she really is going into a whole other world, maybe even another planet. Here, Jennifer Garner is amazing as a woman who desperately wants to be a mother while avoiding the baby hungry stereotype. Her husband is played by Jason Bateman who answers a question about wanting to be a father where the words don't match the look in his eyes and we as an audience get a glimpse of genuine fear and unease... it was an amazing moment.
Juno's dad and step-mom are played (respectively) by J.K. Simmons and the always solid Allison Janney. Simmons brings his impeccable and gruff comic delivery that you would expect, but gets to demonstrate a subtle range that he never had time for in his brief cameos in the Spiderman movies. Michael Cera is goofy and akward as Bleeker, who is referred to more than seen, which makes the moments when he is on screen even better.
Ellen Page has been heralded by nearly every critic on the planet and I won't disagree. I look forward to seeing what she does next. One place this film could have gone really wrong is by having Juno be a girl who is simply clever and witty beyond her years. Where the character triumphs is in those moments where the 16 year old shows through the bravado, adding a depth to her character that is rarely present in teen comedies.
But that is what makes this a better movie than most. It consistently delivers just a bit more than we would expect and perhaps even deserve, which is why Juno gets an "Oh Hells Yes" on the Mr. Blunderson scale.
1 year down - A look back at the greatness that is
It's been a year and a week since I published my first full review and started this silly little site. In that time I haven't seen as many movies as I'd hoped and I've written even less than that, but I've had a good time and that all that really matters. As I blaze into my second year and more of the unknown, I can't even begin to imagine what wonders will grace the silver screen and how many of them I will totally hate.
I'll continue to venture out as much as I am able, but don't count on me to stop being behind the times in just about everything I do since I have things to worry about and fret over, and plenty to hide from... I am after all, the agoraphobic film critic.
I want to say thanks to my readers, your numbers may be small but I still love ya all the same. Special props to Big C who has contributed more and more as the year went on as our staff movie buff, and this site would be even less without Terror Taco Man, who has contributed, advised, and commented. You are always appreciated.
I'll continue to venture out as much as I am able, but don't count on me to stop being behind the times in just about everything I do since I have things to worry about and fret over, and plenty to hide from... I am after all, the agoraphobic film critic.
I want to say thanks to my readers, your numbers may be small but I still love ya all the same. Special props to Big C who has contributed more and more as the year went on as our staff movie buff, and this site would be even less without Terror Taco Man, who has contributed, advised, and commented. You are always appreciated.
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
2008 Oscar Nominations
by Mr. Blunderson
I woke up this morning thinking there was hope for humanity, only to find that I live in a world where Transformers and Norbit are academy award nominated movies. We're really not that far from the society that Mike Judge envisioned in his satirical Idiocracy.
I've been jaded for years as far as the academy awards are concerned, but little things like this (especially when a movie like Zodiac was totally ignored) serve to help me care even less about that one night a year where Hollywood pats itself on the back showing the world how wonderful they are.
Give me a damn break.
afterthought - and since this is the second year in a row where one movie is nominated 3 times in the song catagory, is it time to shelve best song all together? Sounds like they are really reaching on these noms as it it is.
I woke up this morning thinking there was hope for humanity, only to find that I live in a world where Transformers and Norbit are academy award nominated movies. We're really not that far from the society that Mike Judge envisioned in his satirical Idiocracy.
I've been jaded for years as far as the academy awards are concerned, but little things like this (especially when a movie like Zodiac was totally ignored) serve to help me care even less about that one night a year where Hollywood pats itself on the back showing the world how wonderful they are.
Give me a damn break.
afterthought - and since this is the second year in a row where one movie is nominated 3 times in the song catagory, is it time to shelve best song all together? Sounds like they are really reaching on these noms as it it is.
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
Review - I Walked with a Zombie (1943)
Starring James Ellison, Frances Dee, Tom Conway
Directed by Jacques Touneur
Review by Mr. Blunderson
Last night Turner Classic Movies premiered a new documentary called Val Lewton: The Man in the Shadows followed by a marathon of his films. For those that don't know, Val Lewton was a producer who made low budget horror movies in the 1940s. If you're wondering just how far off the rails the horror genre in American Cinema has run as of late, a look at the films of Val Lewton will serve as a reminder that small and simple can be so much better.
Movies have come a long way in the the 60 plus years since Cat People and I Walked with a Zombie, but as I always like to say "not all progress is progress." In an age where the screen is being drenched in blood it only takes a few moments from these classics to realize that less is plenty and that shadow and imagery can do more to frighten than watching people being skinned alive.
Due to complications of everyday (and evening) life, I walked with a Zombie was the only film besides the documentary that I caught in it's entirety. Visually speaking I was stunned. Frances Dee's journey through the sugar cane to the voodoo temple is where this movie truly won me over. The use of shadow, light (as in all Lewton films), and music underscore a pervasive sense of dread that builds
steadily from beginning to the startling conclusion.
This is classic horror at it's best, which is why I rate it a "way decent" on the Mr. Blunderson Scale. I Walked with a Zombie can not help but be a little dated, but don't let that keep you from enjoying a great wealth of depth and nuance that come pouring off the screen.
In a horrifyingly ironic twist, I have just learned that the asshats behind the Saw franchise have plans to remake this movie. It's bad enough that modern cinema is churning out one steaming pile of crap after another making good movies harder to find than ever, but steamrolling over classics from the past seems a most disgusting act of blasphemy. Lewton and Tourneur (who directed the original and was a horror visionary as well) deserve better, and so do we.
As for the documentary Val Lewton: The Man in the Shadows, all I can say is Marty Scorsese's voice is like butter. I could listen to that guy talk about anything. This was an amazing documentary, I nearly watched it twice.
Directed by Jacques Touneur
Review by Mr. Blunderson
Last night Turner Classic Movies premiered a new documentary called Val Lewton: The Man in the Shadows followed by a marathon of his films. For those that don't know, Val Lewton was a producer who made low budget horror movies in the 1940s. If you're wondering just how far off the rails the horror genre in American Cinema has run as of late, a look at the films of Val Lewton will serve as a reminder that small and simple can be so much better.
Movies have come a long way in the the 60 plus years since Cat People and I Walked with a Zombie, but as I always like to say "not all progress is progress." In an age where the screen is being drenched in blood it only takes a few moments from these classics to realize that less is plenty and that shadow and imagery can do more to frighten than watching people being skinned alive.
Due to complications of everyday (and evening) life, I walked with a Zombie was the only film besides the documentary that I caught in it's entirety. Visually speaking I was stunned. Frances Dee's journey through the sugar cane to the voodoo temple is where this movie truly won me over. The use of shadow, light (as in all Lewton films), and music underscore a pervasive sense of dread that builds
steadily from beginning to the startling conclusion.
This is classic horror at it's best, which is why I rate it a "way decent" on the Mr. Blunderson Scale. I Walked with a Zombie can not help but be a little dated, but don't let that keep you from enjoying a great wealth of depth and nuance that come pouring off the screen.
In a horrifyingly ironic twist, I have just learned that the asshats behind the Saw franchise have plans to remake this movie. It's bad enough that modern cinema is churning out one steaming pile of crap after another making good movies harder to find than ever, but steamrolling over classics from the past seems a most disgusting act of blasphemy. Lewton and Tourneur (who directed the original and was a horror visionary as well) deserve better, and so do we.
As for the documentary Val Lewton: The Man in the Shadows, all I can say is Marty Scorsese's voice is like butter. I could listen to that guy talk about anything. This was an amazing documentary, I nearly watched it twice.
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
Word from Big C Vol 13
We got us a quadruple shot today as C has been all up in the movie cookies. Sadly, I have yet to see any of these movies even though I am dying to see Black Sheep. Here's what Big C has to say in some of his best, if not most entertaining, reviews to date:
Surf School
War
Stardust
Black Sheep
If you look a the cover art of this movie you will clearly see that it is going to be one of the best WereSheep movies of all time (because we all know that there are so many). Ok this movie is on the very strange idea side of the spectrum and it has so many great family qualities such as sibling rivalry, nice friendly crazy sheep and the implied bestiality but sorry Tim its still a sin. I personally think that its about time that the quadrupeds are finally getting even.... wait no I don't they are food and we all know how I like food. So if you wanna see sheep kicking ass and writing nothing down to keep track of the score you should see this movie. It gets a OH HELLS YES from the Big C.
Surf School
Aside from all the tasty "sponge cake" this movie is no different from all the other "teen-sport" movies you know the underdog wins. But the tasty "sponge cake" is "sh-sh-shweet" that means hot babes galore.
War
OH MY JEBUS. This movie is so good I'm kinda sorry that i missed seeing it in the theater because Jet Li and Jason Statham are very very believable in their respective roles and the story is indeed good and that is all that matters to me hahahaha. The fights in this are almost over the top but not quite and be honest with yourself if you can see the Yakuza and the Triads in a war you wouldn't want to watch. But seriously see this movie.
Stardust
I have heard from my friend Herostew (oh my god name drop) that everyone is saying that this movie is the new Princess Bride, although you can't really compare any movie to that classic i see what they mean. Mr. De'Niro was fantastic as a "woopsi" sky pirate. Also whenever there is a peanut gallery of jealous ghosts it makes for great hilarity. You also get to imagine that the secret world you used to escape to as a tiny tot can actually exist and isn't that what we all are looking for.
Sunday, January 6, 2008
Blast from the Past - The Perfect Storm
starring George Clooney, Mark Wahlberg
written by William D Wittliff (based on the book by Sebastien Junger)
directed by Wolfgang Petersen
review by Mr. Blunderson
A better name might be "the perfect waste of a morning," this was one of those situations where a Sunday morning malaise led to getting sucked into watching something I normally wouldn't. The Perfect Storm opens with the a title card that says "based on actual events," even though the movie itself is mostly full of conjecture and speculation in the case of the fishing boat Andrea Gail. This has a lot to do with why I initially steered clear of the film. At the time I would have rather seen a movie that focused more on the heroes in the Coast Guard who risked their lives to rescue those caught in the storm.
Nearly 8 years later I realize that I was simply spared the agony of melodramatic dialog and cliche that would make your garden variety day-time soap look like Citizen Kane. I have a lot of respect for Wolfgang Petersen but most of that rides on the strength of Das Boot which is a great film. Here, Petersen delivers when the action is on screen but the rest feels like forced sentimentality, and I find that hard to forgive. I realize this is a sad story, but you have to earn those sentimental moments with lines better than "I have a bad feeling about this one," and "We gonna make it, Skip?"
The real life tragedy of the 1991 Halloween Nor'easter is not lost on me, but I can't help but feel as though the dead could have been delivered a more fitting remembrance.
If you enjoyed this movie I won't hold it against you. As for me, I am going to continue to trust my instincts when it comes to movies.
added after the post - I forgot to mention the score by James Horner sounded like outtakes from the Apollo 13 music, same guy, same instrumentation, not through the whole but there were moments that all I could think of was Apollo 13 and for a movie that fudged the facts on a historical incident, was executed in a superior manner.
As a youngster there were two things I had a passion for, dinosaurs and the United States Space Program. Apollo 13 is one of my favorite movies and rises above the historical inaccuracies. It really can be done, folks, I swear!
written by William D Wittliff (based on the book by Sebastien Junger)
directed by Wolfgang Petersen
review by Mr. Blunderson
A better name might be "the perfect waste of a morning," this was one of those situations where a Sunday morning malaise led to getting sucked into watching something I normally wouldn't. The Perfect Storm opens with the a title card that says "based on actual events," even though the movie itself is mostly full of conjecture and speculation in the case of the fishing boat Andrea Gail. This has a lot to do with why I initially steered clear of the film. At the time I would have rather seen a movie that focused more on the heroes in the Coast Guard who risked their lives to rescue those caught in the storm.
Nearly 8 years later I realize that I was simply spared the agony of melodramatic dialog and cliche that would make your garden variety day-time soap look like Citizen Kane. I have a lot of respect for Wolfgang Petersen but most of that rides on the strength of Das Boot which is a great film. Here, Petersen delivers when the action is on screen but the rest feels like forced sentimentality, and I find that hard to forgive. I realize this is a sad story, but you have to earn those sentimental moments with lines better than "I have a bad feeling about this one," and "We gonna make it, Skip?"
The real life tragedy of the 1991 Halloween Nor'easter is not lost on me, but I can't help but feel as though the dead could have been delivered a more fitting remembrance.
If you enjoyed this movie I won't hold it against you. As for me, I am going to continue to trust my instincts when it comes to movies.
added after the post - I forgot to mention the score by James Horner sounded like outtakes from the Apollo 13 music, same guy, same instrumentation, not through the whole but there were moments that all I could think of was Apollo 13 and for a movie that fudged the facts on a historical incident, was executed in a superior manner.
As a youngster there were two things I had a passion for, dinosaurs and the United States Space Program. Apollo 13 is one of my favorite movies and rises above the historical inaccuracies. It really can be done, folks, I swear!
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