by Mr. Blunderson
If you don't like this movie--if you don't LOVE this movie--you have no heart.
There.
I said it.
In doing so I have certainly dared people who know me to hate it, but if this movie doesn't make you it's bitch then I am sorry for you because you are missing something in your life that you deeply need... humanity.
You might think you know what to expect. You might think you've seen the little waste allocation bot emote more than 90% of the so-called actors in Hollywood just in the trailers, but trust me when i tell you that you ain't seen nothin until you've seen it all.
Simply said, WALL-E doesn't rule, it owns.
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Word from big C vol. 20
For the 20th edition of a Word From Big C, our resident slave to Red Box pushes more than the buttons on that big red movie vending machine
Alien Vs Predator: Requiem
Ok first things first the movie was way too dark physically. The new tech that they let us in on is fantastic. Personally I liked the first A.V.P. better mainly because the Predator didn't just go on a killing spree killing anything that moved, and yes I get that it was probably necessary on account of the whole Alien "outbreak" but it just was not right in my book. Its a good movie if you just want mindless action.
The Other Boleyn Girl
Scarlett Johansson, Natalie Portman, Eric Bana. Do you need more? Rape scene with Bana and Natalie and some modest love scenes with Scar-Jo. This shows the true nature of women that know what they want and how to get it (BITCHES). Great movie for anyone that wants to impress a female with your tastes in movies. Watch this one for me.
Alien Vs Predator: Requiem
Ok first things first the movie was way too dark physically. The new tech that they let us in on is fantastic. Personally I liked the first A.V.P. better mainly because the Predator didn't just go on a killing spree killing anything that moved, and yes I get that it was probably necessary on account of the whole Alien "outbreak" but it just was not right in my book. Its a good movie if you just want mindless action.
The Other Boleyn Girl
Scarlett Johansson, Natalie Portman, Eric Bana. Do you need more? Rape scene with Bana and Natalie and some modest love scenes with Scar-Jo. This shows the true nature of women that know what they want and how to get it (BITCHES). Great movie for anyone that wants to impress a female with your tastes in movies. Watch this one for me.
Friday, June 13, 2008
The Incredible Hulk
Good movie. Tighter with the Banner to Hulk ratio more evenly spread out than Ang Lee's version. Not as charming as Iron Man but true to the tone of modern Hulk comics. Lots of homage is paid to the 70's TV series with Lou Ferrigno actually having lines as the security guard he played in Ang Lee's Hulk and this time he even voices Hulk. Bill Bixby even has a cameo.
I am still partial to Ang Lee's Hulk design. This Hulk is too narrow in the waste and too dark skinned, when he is not in the shadows. There are moments when Hulk seems copy pasted into scenes. None of this is really all that distracting. But since the comparisons almost have to be made, Ang Lee's Hulk design is my personal preference. But Hulk does some very cool things in this movie that made me smile with glee.
I would say a better than average popcorn movie. But DO NOT go in expecting to see Iron Man. Different movie. Different Tone.
I am still partial to Ang Lee's Hulk design. This Hulk is too narrow in the waste and too dark skinned, when he is not in the shadows. There are moments when Hulk seems copy pasted into scenes. None of this is really all that distracting. But since the comparisons almost have to be made, Ang Lee's Hulk design is my personal preference. But Hulk does some very cool things in this movie that made me smile with glee.
I would say a better than average popcorn movie. But DO NOT go in expecting to see Iron Man. Different movie. Different Tone.
Kung Fu Panda
It was just okay. The opening dream sequence is funny and signature Jack Black. But the movie goes limp soon after. No serious problems. Just cute and average. A DVD movie.
The Big C also saw the film
Jack Black's best children's movie ever, definitely not his best movie though great action from animated animals. The animation is sweet-tastic (by far the best was work was done on the turtle). I will give it a OH HELLS YA.
The Big C also saw the film
Jack Black's best children's movie ever, definitely not his best movie though great action from animated animals. The animation is sweet-tastic (by far the best was work was done on the turtle). I will give it a OH HELLS YA.
Word from Big C vol 19
Meet The Spartans
Funny stuff is all ima say.
Jumper
Sam Jackson makes this movie so much better then it really is. Rachel Bilson is very hot in this movie for one she is hot and number two she plays a bartender (and does it get any hotter then a female that gives you drinks). I just hope that the second one is better.
Cleaner
Not my type of movie for reasons I can't tell because I don't know but it is entertaining if you want to learn something about homicide clean up.
next to come AVP-R and The Bucket List
Funny stuff is all ima say.
Jumper
Sam Jackson makes this movie so much better then it really is. Rachel Bilson is very hot in this movie for one she is hot and number two she plays a bartender (and does it get any hotter then a female that gives you drinks). I just hope that the second one is better.
Cleaner
Not my type of movie for reasons I can't tell because I don't know but it is entertaining if you want to learn something about homicide clean up.
next to come AVP-R and The Bucket List
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Spread Your Hummus On My Zohan
With my fellow jerks and jerk junior I went and saw You Don't Mess With the Zohan. Instead I saw the longest Hummus commercial ever put to film. I have never eaten Hummus and find it hard to believe that it could leave a worst taste in my mouth than this movie.
The real stars of this film. Hummus. Adam Sandler's crotch. Zohan is beneath everyone responsible and will share a spot next to my son's copy of Bio Dome. He's 12.
The Big C had this to say about the Zohan-
"Good movie not many quotable lines. Not as good as Grandma's Boy or Chuck and Larry but I will survive. Ok one of my fellow reviewers said needed it more Zohan action and I agree, then it would have been great."
And last but not least, Mr. Blunderson adds -
"Perhaps the most physically painful movie going experience of my life."
The real stars of this film. Hummus. Adam Sandler's crotch. Zohan is beneath everyone responsible and will share a spot next to my son's copy of Bio Dome. He's 12.
The Big C had this to say about the Zohan-
"Good movie not many quotable lines. Not as good as Grandma's Boy or Chuck and Larry but I will survive. Ok one of my fellow reviewers said needed it more Zohan action and I agree, then it would have been great."
And last but not least, Mr. Blunderson adds -
"Perhaps the most physically painful movie going experience of my life."
Sunday, June 1, 2008
Chan Tastic
Hey did you know Jackie Chan can act?
Well sort of.
I am a big Jackie Chan fan. My first Chan movie that gave me pause to take notice was Rumble In The Bronx. At that time I had never seen that type of action. Martial arts using every day objects and a bit of slap stick mixed in. Since Rumble we have seen a bunch more of Jackie Chan with movies like Shanghai Knights and Rush Hour.
Over the past few years I've taken the time to seek out Chan movies that are not "Chinese guy teams up with obnoxious American side kick" movies.
I recently found a 2004 movie called New Police Story.
This is the fifth film in Jackie's Police Story series and was meant to be a reboot. As with other films in the series, you can watch this with out ever having seen the others. All the films in the series are like that, which is why they often get retitled when sent here to America. Like Police Story 3 is often called Supercop here.
2004's (not 1993's) New Police Story is the furthest departure from the first 4 films and I feel it was a mistake to call it New Police Story. When you add words like New or Part 2, us Gweilo ask, "Where is the old? Is this a sequel? If I see this one first I won't know what's going on. Besides, sequels always suck."
New Police Story has Jackie playing a cop by a different name then the first 4 movies. Who I missed most in this venture was Uncle played by Bill Tung who died in 2006. He brought a lot of levity and dare I say cute to the other movies. Of course cute wouldn't have fit in this film. This is by far the darkest Chan movie I have seen. Not on a visual level, except in the instance of gore, but in subject matter and character tone. Jackie's character is a deeply conflicted man and gives him a chance to show a bit of range. If you want to see slap stick Jackie Chan martial arts hi-jinx, stay clear of this one. If you want to see good modern martial arts action drama made better by Chan's presence, seek this out.
Jackie Chan plays a disgraced police inspector who falls into a drunken stupor when his team is murdered in front of him by a sadistic punk gang. A young inspector played by actor/singer Nicholas Tse Ting-Fung takes it upon himself to rehabilitate Chan. His motivation isn't revealed until the twist at the very end of the film. I have to admit I wasn't expecting this type of twist in a Jackie Chan movie and I thought it was a great and subtle way to tie it all up.
There are times you may think Jackie is being a little melodramatic. But you have to keep in mind this isn't an American film. So you need to throw out YOUR OWN perception of what melodrama is. Because in the end it's not really melodrama as much as it is a perception created by our culture.
Other than Jackie Chan still doing his own stunts at almost 60, what makes his movies unique in this day and age is the amount of NON computer generated bang for your buck. Even though Jackie plays his character dark, there is still plenty of real world Jackie Chan action to satisfy any Die Hard junkie.
Well sort of.
I am a big Jackie Chan fan. My first Chan movie that gave me pause to take notice was Rumble In The Bronx. At that time I had never seen that type of action. Martial arts using every day objects and a bit of slap stick mixed in. Since Rumble we have seen a bunch more of Jackie Chan with movies like Shanghai Knights and Rush Hour.
Over the past few years I've taken the time to seek out Chan movies that are not "Chinese guy teams up with obnoxious American side kick" movies.
I recently found a 2004 movie called New Police Story.
This is the fifth film in Jackie's Police Story series and was meant to be a reboot. As with other films in the series, you can watch this with out ever having seen the others. All the films in the series are like that, which is why they often get retitled when sent here to America. Like Police Story 3 is often called Supercop here.
2004's (not 1993's) New Police Story is the furthest departure from the first 4 films and I feel it was a mistake to call it New Police Story. When you add words like New or Part 2, us Gweilo ask, "Where is the old? Is this a sequel? If I see this one first I won't know what's going on. Besides, sequels always suck."
New Police Story has Jackie playing a cop by a different name then the first 4 movies. Who I missed most in this venture was Uncle played by Bill Tung who died in 2006. He brought a lot of levity and dare I say cute to the other movies. Of course cute wouldn't have fit in this film. This is by far the darkest Chan movie I have seen. Not on a visual level, except in the instance of gore, but in subject matter and character tone. Jackie's character is a deeply conflicted man and gives him a chance to show a bit of range. If you want to see slap stick Jackie Chan martial arts hi-jinx, stay clear of this one. If you want to see good modern martial arts action drama made better by Chan's presence, seek this out.
Jackie Chan plays a disgraced police inspector who falls into a drunken stupor when his team is murdered in front of him by a sadistic punk gang. A young inspector played by actor/singer Nicholas Tse Ting-Fung takes it upon himself to rehabilitate Chan. His motivation isn't revealed until the twist at the very end of the film. I have to admit I wasn't expecting this type of twist in a Jackie Chan movie and I thought it was a great and subtle way to tie it all up.
There are times you may think Jackie is being a little melodramatic. But you have to keep in mind this isn't an American film. So you need to throw out YOUR OWN perception of what melodrama is. Because in the end it's not really melodrama as much as it is a perception created by our culture.
Other than Jackie Chan still doing his own stunts at almost 60, what makes his movies unique in this day and age is the amount of NON computer generated bang for your buck. Even though Jackie plays his character dark, there is still plenty of real world Jackie Chan action to satisfy any Die Hard junkie.
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