Mr. Blunderson's Top 2 movies of 2007

By Mr. Blunderson

Since it is the last day of the year I thought I'd put in my 2 cents (quite literally) on my favorite films of 2007. When I asked Big C to give me his top 5 I promised that I wouldn't be doing a list of my own but I can't help but mention my top two. Those who know me are aware that I often suffer from the "can't help but..." syndrome, so this should come as no surprise.

This is in no way meant to slight the top 5 of Big C, since I think every movie on his list (except for Sweeny Todd, didn't see it) was completely worthy of the praise he heaps upon them.

It will probably be several months before I see the majority of the Oscar fodder for this year, but I did see a few that really blew me away.

2 - Zodiac

I don't think anyone familiar with Fincher's work would have imagined him telling this story the way he did which is one more reason I loved this film. The scope of Zodiac is as staggering as it's running time, but everything about it put me in awe. Mark Ruffalo knocked it out of the park as the real life cop who inspired Dirty Harry, and little Jake Gyllenhaal brings a performance to the screen revealing the sad truth that madness and obsession are not traits reserved for serial killers.

edit - How dare I forget to mention Mr. Iron Man himself, Robert Downey Jr. playing quite the opposite of a super hero. His portrayal of a downward spiraling crime journalist follows the momentum of the investigation.

It was through the eyes of these characters that the viewer can grasp the far reaching effect of the Zodiac Killer. There are moments where the psychological effects of the zodiac killer seemed to be cutting a path of destruction through the bay area metaphorically comparable to Sherman's march toward Atlanta.

1 - No Country For Old Men

I can't express much about this film except that it has haunted me since I saw it. Javier Bardem's gravelly voice rang in my ears for days, I couldn't get that stark landscape out of my mind, and I flinched a few days later when I encountered a sweet old man with an oxygen tank in tow at the local grocery store.

I read the book. I read at a decent clip, but this time I really took my time. At first I thought it was just a good book, but I soon found myself hanging on every word and sentence. This is a really good book. Looking back at the film I have a greater appreciation for the overwhelming plight of the sheriff (played by Tommy Lee Jones) and the growing feeling of dread and helplessness he feels as the story unfolds. The final monologue that Jones delivers is easily one of his finest moments on celluloid.

No Country for Old Men captures the spirit and message of the book in a way that we see too little of at the movies today, simultaneously managing to unquestionably be a film by the Coen Brothers.

* * *

That's my top two for better or worse, I know that everyone and their dog, parakeet and gold fish are praising No County for Old Men as the best of the year, but having seen it for myself it's hard to deny it. Again, let me stress that this opinion comes from the agoraphobic film critic and I haven't seen a lot of the more recent releases this year, but when considered among all the movies I've ever seen this is among the best.

Who the hell is this guy ?! (updated)

Remember when I posted this a few days ago?


Another Super Hero Movie! Who would have guessed?


The official site is up so this one won't disappear in a day or two.

Word from Big C vol 12 and a retraction

I got this in the old mail box today from my good pal Big C:

"Ok I know that this is kind of asinine but I just have to do a new top five after watching Sweeny Todd.

5. Knocked Up

4. Shoot'em Up

3. Sweeny Todd

2. Live Free or Die Hard

1. Super Bad

now this has to be the real top five. And that is that

Now you also get my Sweeny Todd review also

Now I'm not sure that every one knows that I'm a fan of the musicals. That being said Sweeny Todd gets a Cam-tastic from me because it has all the elements of a Cam-tastic musical let me list them...

1. Good singing ability

b. Corsets to make boobies look fantastic

3. BLOOD and lots of it

d. Bodies bouncing on concrete

And lastly Meat Pies

I say if you love musicals like i do that is reason enough to see this movie but if you don't then go because you simply love to see Johnny Depp acting and in this role you get to see him act like he never wait no its just like many of his other roles but he is always good at it so in closing just SEE THE DAMN MOVIE all of you."

I'd like to thank Big C for all of his help here at the cirque. It's wouldn't be any fun without him. Also a big thumbs up to Hero Stew who is always adding his 2 cents and helps keep me from flying too far off the handle.

Merry Christmas

Another Dune Movie?!

Peter Berg (The kingdom, The Run Down, etc) confirmed that a new Dune movie is a done deal, and they are just waiting for the writers strike to end to "get into it."



Can we just let it be already?

HELL YES!

by Mr. BLunderson

IGN has a teaser up for Hellboy II: THe Golden Army...

It


Looks



Awesome

Best Films of 2007 according to Big C

I recently asked Big C if he'd be willing to offer a list of the top five movies he saw this year. As you might expect his list is concise with no rambling, and no extraneous explanation. He just sent me the 5 movies he liked best this year.

5. The Departed
4. Mr. Brooks
3. Knocked Up
2. Live Free or Die Hard
1. Super Bad

There you have it. Thanks to Big C for offering up his top five. Whether you agree or disagree, this list just proves what I've said all along about this is guy who knows how to enjoy movies.

Word from Big C vol 11

Big C, who is an avid gamer as well as a movie buff recently saw Hitman and I don't to spoil his review but I have a sneaking suspicion this film isn't one of his favorite movies of the year.

"Ok so i saw Hitman last week and I have a couple things to say:

First off the jack ass that wrote this one needs to play the video game a little more and see that YOU CAN'T MAKE A MOVIE ABOUT A FUCKING ASSASSIN WITHOUT USING PIANO WIRE to kill at least one person.

Secondly fucking Vin Diesel was an executive producer... When the hell did he start producing? Not that it was a bad movie, it was better than I thought it would be but I am most definitely not going to own it.

And lastly "number 47" the main character treats the female lead like I imagine Tim would if he could get a woman close to him ever and if you know Tim you understand."

Who the hell is this guy?!

Here's another superhero movie. I don't know much about it other than I might have hurt myself laughing at the whale bit. All I know is that is stars Will Smith and Jason Bateman and looks to open this summer.

Enjoy.

-edit- CRAP! They took it down. As soon as I find the link again I'll post it cause Hancock looks badass.

The Dark Knight

By Mr. Blunderson

I am one of those people who adores the fact that Christopher Nolan is working the Batman franchise right now. Even though I had some misgivings about the final third of Batman Begins, it was by far the best Batman movie made so far in my opinion.

Although I am not a serious comic book fan, one of the things I hated, hated, hated about the franchise from 1989-1997 was that every shot was choked by this cartoony ridiculous and claustrophobic Gotham that first came in the form of Tim Burton's standard crooked buildings and evolved into the Joel Schumacher nightmare that I don't even want to discuss without my therapist close by. I couldn't say how true those visions were to the source material, but it was never for me.

-warning, I may be committing comic blasphemy here-

I've felt that Batman could have worked if shot in a gritty, grounded in reality environment. Batman struck a chord with me because the only difference between him and me is his massive set of cahones... and of course his bank statement (that and he probably doesn't need a step ladder to reach stuff on the top shelf). He is one of those super heroes that could exist in the real world... you know like Al Gore.

But I digress...

Superman (1978), despite it's more fantastic elements worked really well for me existing in world that was similar to my own, so imagine my disappointment when I saw Tim Burton's Batman looked liked parts had been filmed on sets left over from Beetlejuice.

Other than the train sequence at the end of Batman Begins, I was blown away by the look Nolan and his creative team brought to the franchise. I can't say enough about the amazing Wally Pfister, who in my opinion is one of the finest cinematographers working today. How many people have been nominated for an Oscar for best Cinematography for a super hero movie? Actually just one besides Wally as far as I can tell (unless Dick Tracy counts as a super hero), and sadly, that was Batman Forever. Wow, I just vomited a little. But you get the idea.

Shame on me for busting out the Oscar angle since I deeply suspect those awards are total crap--that is a tirade for another day, but if you don't believe me about Wally Pfister (and yes, get it out of your system) do yourself a favor and see the movies he's shot, especially Insomnia, and you'll see what I'm getting at.

The only reason for telling you any of this is that a new teaser for The Dark Knight is online and I am giddy as a school boy. If you haven't seen it yet, watch it and enjoy.

Top Ten Utah Movies and then some

By Mr. Blunderson

Big C showed up at the cave tonight bearing a gift from our good friend Hero Stew. It was a copy of one of my all time favorite movies Fletch. Now As much as I love this movie there is one little down side. Talking about it makes me feel old since a lot of young people today either haven't heard of it or didn't think it was very funny. Young people! Bah!

Instead of rambling on and on about how great Fletch is, I did get another idea... One of the funniest things about Fletch is the Utah angle. As a resident of the beehive state I find those references extra hilarious. But this got me thinking, so I'd like to present you my list of my top ten Utah movies of all times. Researching my list I was surprised at some of the titles I came up with, so I am extending it to include honorable mentions and some "gee whiz" insights as well.

Keep in mind that most of these movies were only partially shot in Utah, but that's good enough for me.

Lets kick this party off with Mr. Blunderson's Top Ten Utah Movies

10 - Seven Brides for Seven Brothers (1954)

I had to include this because I know how much it will piss off Mrs. Blunderson. She would complain that the movie is blatantly sexist. Although she has a point, it's funny to me since the so-called "brothers" wear more fringe than the Village People. I also happen to know this is a film that Big C enjoys and we both chuckle at the "cap gun" sound effects when the brothers cause the avalanche.

Something that Mrs. Blunderson may not know about this film is that the script was based on a short story called The Sobbin' Women which was itself based on an ancient roman legend The Rape of the Sabine Women. I for one would love to see an updated version of this film that ends with a shit load of restraining orders.

On a side note, if you visit the wikipedia page for the movie, there is an excellent demonstration of pan and scan versus wide screen presentation. If you are one of those people that thinks "Full Screen" simply chops a few inches off either side of the shot you can finally see just how wrong you are.

9 - Planet of the Apes (1968)

I don't know how much of this was actually shot here but Glen Canyon Utah is listed as one of it's locations, a fact I learned only in the last hour. How cool is that? One of the most iconic movies period was at least partially filmed in my scenic and beautiful yet clearly bass-ackwards state.

As I run it though the memory processor, did the ship crash land into Lake Powell? I'm geeking out a little here. This new knowledge gives such a deeper meaning to Heston's final words "You Maniacs! You blew it up! Ah, damn you! God damn you all to hell!"

8 - Better Off Dead (1985)

John Cusack, hot foreign exchange student, monster eggnog made with lighter fluid, the worst (and thus the best) 80's high school dance, Japanese drag racing brothers, David Odgen Stiers, claymation fast food, the K-12, worlds best Chrsitmas presents ("you like corn"), people throwin away a perfectly good white boy, the first time we see the TV/fireplace shtick in cinema, a villain named Stalin, kicking ass on one ski, and to drink... Peru!

Need I say more? Oh, I failed to mention the slopes in this movie were Utah's own Alta and Snowbird resorts.

And I almost forgot - "I WANT MY TWO DOLLARS!"

7 - Over the Top (1987)

This is one of the worst movies ever made. I only bring it up because Stallone really does owe me the money for renting it not once but twice. The only fond memory I have relating to this heap of crap is an SNL sketch where Norm MacDonald slams it by saying that Kramer Vs Kramer (which also dealt with the sensitive issue of child custody) wasn't as good as Over the Top because there wasn't any arm wrestling in it.

6 - Legion of Fire: Killer Ants (1998)

The first of two made for TV movies on my list, this bad boy was filmed in and around Heber, which is just a short drive up the canyon from here and home to one of the best places on earth to get a milkshake. The real star of this movie is Mitch Pileggi who spent years "also starring" as A.D. Skinner on The X-Files. Here he gets a chance to kick some insect ass and take names. The plot might seem a little silly when the whole problem of the ants could have been solved by giving all the kids in town magnifying glasses... I don't remember if it was overcast that day. Not a great movie, but it's Mitch. And compared to Over the Top its Citizen Cane.

5 - National Lampoons Vacation (1983)

Yes, Chevy Chase debuts on my list in a move that isn't Fletch. Here's one of the all time great road trip movies that sadly gets ignored by younger audiences today (damn whippersnappers) because they've already seen all the movies that were influenced by it. This is one of those "passing through Utah" movies, but this is my list so get over it! I was going to put Footloose as number 5 but when I asked myself which movie I'd rather turn on the TV and watch right now, the answer was Vacation by a landslide.

4 - The Searchers (1956)

Unappreciated in its own time, this film has come to be regarded as one of the best westerns ever made. It's hard to go wrong with John Wayne starring in a John Ford directed shindig, and even though it looks dated now and might be a bit tough to watch, the scope and themes are still as epic and bold as they ever were. There is a harshness to this movie, especially as it relates to the treatment of Native Americans and the racism and genocide that existed in the old west. To white wash over that would be an injustice to the past, and The Searchers is certainly more honest in that respect than most film from that era regarding the subject matter.

3 - Rubin & Ed

Trent Harris is a local filmmaker who doesn't shy away in reveling from Utah's weirdness. Why hide it? We should be proud of it, it's one of our most precious resources. One interesting note about this cult classic about two young republicans, one of which may or may not be the king of the echo people, in search of a burial place for a beloved deceased pet is that it never mentions Mormons once (Of course, Harris has a whole other film where he slams the LDS weirdness, and I do mean slam). Who could have predicted the chemistry between Howard Hesseman and Crispin Glover? This movie is unapologetically bizarre, charming, and completely hysterical.

2 - The Executioners Song (1982)

Another made for TV movie but important for so many reasons. This film (shot in Orem and Provo, Utah) based on the Norman Mailer book of the same name tells the story of murderer Gary Gilmore who committed his crimes and later lobbied for his own execution. He was the last person to be executed by firing squad (as far as I know, anyway). The real Gary Gilmore committed one of his two murders about 500 hundred feet from where I currently live. Also, you can't ignore that this was the performance that made Tommy Lee Jones.

1 - Fletch (1985)

Willy - What the hell you need ball bearings for?
Fletch - Awww, come one guys. it's so simple. Maybe you need a refresher course.
(Leans on hot engine part)
Fletch - Hey! It's all ball bearings nowadays. Now you prepare that Fetzer valve with some 3-in-1 oil and some gauze pads. And I'm gonna need 'bout ten quarts of anti-freeze, preferably Prestone. No, no make that Quaker State.


For better or worse, that's my list. Before she went to bed, Mrs. Blunderson gave me her top five Utah movies:

5 - Rubin and Ed

for it's cult status and the air of coolness it brings to Utah. (and I think she likes the shoes)

4 - The Conqueror

Here's a flick that is still relevant today, not so much it's content but how it relates to down winders and the irresponsibility of the early days of atomic weapons testing. This movie was a bomb (critically and financially), John Wayne was cast as Genghis Kahn, and likely due to the literal bomb (fallout ridden soil from weapons testing) 91 out of 220 cast and crew members developed some form of cancer. Although there is some dispute between the diagnosis and the actual cause of the cancer (46 died by 1981), this is a drama that has sadly played out in too many south western communities.

3 - Savannah Smiles

This is a cute little tear jerker that reflects the local family values that doesn't manage to end like one of those movies in seminary where someone bares their testimony. Great use of locations.

2 - Independance Day

For nothing else but the scene with all the RV's rolling across the Salt Flats and Bill Pullman ftw (whatever that means)

1- Footloose

The prom at Lehi Roller Mills, the irony of the community with ultra conservative values (makes Utah conservatives look like a bunch of liberal hippies I tell you), the late Chris Penn busting a move, and for Kevin Bacon showing us all that the best way to blow off steam is to dance. Just dance dammit!

By the way, if you know what scene I'm talking about... you've been served!

HONORABLE MENTIONS

Dumb & Dumber - SLC International, baby!
Galaxy Quest - Hooray for Goblin Valley.
Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade - so what if there aren't really caves in the famed double arch.
Vanishing Point - an inspiration of QT's Grindhouse entry Death Proof
Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid - it was tough to leave it off my list I swear
The Stand - Of all the movies listed here this was filmed closest to where I actually lived
The Sandlot - if only for the line "You're killing me Smalls!"
Thelma and Louise - can you beieve Goldy Hahn and Meryl Streep were at one point up for the roles?
Austin Powers in Goldmember
Back to the Future III
Revenge of the Ninja - Nice to see at least one Ninja flick lensed inside our holy borders.
SLC PUNK! - Love it or hate it (or just like it) at least someone made a film about local counterculture.
The Electric Horseman
Joy Ride - JJ Abrahms directing and Steve Zahn co-stars. Nuff said.
The Philadelphia Experiment
Stage Coach
Species - I still can't believe Ben Kingsly was in this movie. He was Ghandi, dude!
The Outlaw Josie Wales
Maverick

And Last but not least, here are some films that made me say "Gee Whiz" when I learned parts were filmed in Utah

Easy Rider
2001 a Space Odyssey
Casablanca
The Greatest Story Ever Told
Superman III
The Ten Commandments

I could go on and on but I wanted there to be room for others to comment and make their own suggestions. Utah is an odd place but Hollywood loves us just enough to keep putting our best parts on the big screen... our scenery.

There are also some movies I intentionally left off the list. Spare me your hate mail because I don't consider Mission Impossible II a movie. It's just a feature length montage. And I haven't seen those High School: The Musical movies... admittedly, I probably won't until someone holds a gun to my head and says "watch, damn you watch!"

I wouldn't be much of a film jerk if I'd have it any other way.

Review - Live Free or Die Hard

by Mr. Blunderson

Let me fill you on the history of the franchise as it relates to me:

Die Hard - I loved it.
Die Hard 2 - I hated it (Die Harder... are you kidding me?! Renny Harlin... are you kidding me?!)
Die Hard: With A Vengeance - I liked it, but not enough to own my own copy or anything.

After hearing rumblings of a fourth installment in the franchise, I was quite anxious for Live Free or Die Hard to hit the big screen. As the agoraphobic critic, I naturally didn't see it until my wife brought it home on DVD, but that in no way diminishes my anticipation. It also didn't diminish my enjoyment of the film.

I can't lie to you, this movie is ridiculous. Justin Long is perfect as a nerdly hacker who never once uses a Mac (way to avoid the type casting there buddy), Timothy Olyphant is sufficiently bad ass as the second best villain in the series (no one will ever unseat Hans Gruber), and of course there is John McClane himself, Mr. New York Cop, kicking ass (he doesn't have time to take names because he is too busy kicking more ass), outrunning explosions, dodging bullets, breaking necks like it's going out of style, giving a kung fu hotty the shaft, and as always creating at least as much destruction and chaos as the terrorists he is fighting. And lest I forget: Kevin Smith. Oh hells yes. His cameo allows for a few nods to geekdom. Man that shit is everywhere!

One of my few complaints would be that it was clear this was not originally written as a Die Hard flick. If you have any familiarity with the series that fact will be apparent quite early on. The vibe just ain't right. Another thing that didn't jive for me was the angle involving John McClane's daughter. With Justin Long by his side Bruce Willis already had one girl in constant peril. Did the plot truly require another? Granted she was not your typical damsel in distress cliche (consider the lineage and all) but you get the idea.

It's also sad when terrorists are so technologically proficient they can locate McClane's daughter in a matter of seconds in one of the worlds largest cities but they never bother to look up McClane's service record? That kind of stupidity has to be punished. Of course it is. And how. But what do I know? If I was a terrorist I would have packed it in after some rogue hero guy launched a car into a helicopter... but that's just me.

But all is redeemed in the final moments when McClane kills the bad guy... not so much that he kills him (that's not a surprise) but how. FUCK YES! That moment was so Die Hard it nearly brought tears to my eyes. It's been weeks since I watched it yet it still makes me smile. At the end of the day, that's what Die Hard is all about: fun, fun, fun. It might be messy, and it might be full of technical errors that would drive anyone who knows anything about a computer batty, but there is enough blessed mayhem and Bruce Willis that even I could turn a blind eye and enjoy it.

As such, Live Free or Die Hard rates a "way decent" on the Mr. Blunderson scale.

REVIEW - Santa's Slay

By Mr. Blunderson

When you consider all the Christmas movies--especially in the horror genre--it is easy yet sad to say that there is a lot of crap out there. Santa's Slay is an unapologetically bad Christmas movie, which may have a lot to do with how much I enjoyed watching it. First five minutes alone you get to see Fran Drescher, Chris Kattan, and (I am not even kidding you here) James Caan, get their asses ended by a great big Jewish Professional Wrestler playing a wickedly evil and hysterical Santa Clause. Even if the rest of the 78 minute runtime had been complete crap, it still would have been worth the price of the rental.

Bill Goldberg (starring as the man in the red suit) kicks ass in a world where Santa has only been nice for all these years because he lost a bet. When the terms of that bet expire he is once again free to kick the living shit out the naughty and the nice. Santa's Slay is fun enough that even an art house movie snob such as myself can let go of the fact that it was produced by Bret Ratner. 78 minutes may seem a bit short for a feature film, but at that length it doesn't wear it's welcome.

This movie has everything - the cringe inducing one-liners, curling, Dave Thomas, wolverine leftovers, strippers, a helldeer that eats people, THE Greatest American Heros, claymation, death by menorah, proof that cops can be Cocks, shitty spoiled kids opening the presents they really deserve, old people swearing (it is a weakness but I will never tire of it), not to mention the most important lesson of all: always sanitize a stripper pole before you use it to beat the shit out of anyone. Either that or use some really thick gloves, I suppose. Oh yeah, and don't forget when the kids tried to lose the bad guy by copying moves from Top Gun. That is one of my favorite "inside" moments in all cinema.

It's not going to win any Oscars, but this is certainly a shit load of fun. If you don't like it, I can't hold it against you but if you did you understand why I gave this movie an "Oh Hells Yes!" on the Mr. Blunderson scale.

note - I can't believe I forgot to mention the man, the myth, the legend Robert Culp. I'm adding this bit after being chastised by Hero Stew in my comments section. Here is one of the great character actors of all time and I left him out of the review. Besides all of his other credits, he played a killer on Colombo not once, not twice but three times muchachos! If this iconic name in entertainment doesn't ring any bells, check this out and pay your respects to a Hollywood legend. Just one more reason that Santa's Slay is so damn fun.