There is a lot of buzz recently around the net about a new TV spot for the upcoming Transformers movie that reveals Optimus Prime has lips. For many, this seems to be the straw that broke the camel's back as far as whether or not they are going to spend the next few months talking shit about the movie before they go and see it anyway... cause we know they are going to see this movie in droves.
I got a straw for you - IT IS DIRECTED BY MICHAEL BAY!
That's all you need to know it sucks. Take that Eight bucks you have hiding under your pillow and go see Grindhouse today while it's still in theaters. Support good movies, ya doofs.
Monday, April 16, 2007
Thursday, April 12, 2007
REVIEW - GRINDHOUSE
Some movies look so bad ass that even I--the agoraphobic film critic--have to see them on the big screen. I made one of my rare trips out of the house for the Rodriguez/Tarantino "hells yes"-fest I have been dying to see since way back in July 2006 when I witnessed the premiere of the machine gun leg at the 2006 Comic Con in San Diego. Now that I have seen Grindhouse I can only tell you that this movie sucks.
It sucks because ever since I saw it, no other movie even looks interesting to me. After seeing it, I spent the next few days pouring over every bit of Grindhouse discussion I could find on the Internet. I even read the reviews those blowhards at Ain't It Cool wrote. I couldn't get enough... hell, I still can't. Even now, 4 days later as I write this review, I am considering drugging my son so I can ditch my stay at home dad duties for 3 hours and 15 minutes (make it three and a half so I can get there early for snacks and a good seat) and take it all in again.
Grindhouse rules from frame one and rules more as it goes on (and on and on and on), and a big "Fuck You" to anyone who hasn't seen this movie yet (especially if you are one of those jerks paying money to keep Are We Done Yet? solid at the three spot). This movie is all you need. You will NEVER get as much for your entertainment dollar than at this film, and that's not because it's a double feature. I had my 8 bucks worth after the first faux trailer (Machete) and if the world had ended at that point I would have been burned to an apocalyptic crisp with a geek-happy smile from one ear to the other.
I'm not going to say much about Planet Terror since anyone who knows me knows I can not be partial when it comes to Robert Rodriguez (who should clone himself so he can make more movies) who incidentally knocked it out of the park with this one. Great cast. Great everything, even the peg-leg love. Hysterical.
If I had any reservations going into Grindhouse (besides the fear of panic attacks) was that I wouldn't like the Tarantino portion (Death Proof). This is not because I don't like his movies (quite the opposite) but when I saw the Grindhouse panel at Comic Con he came across to me as a magnanimous asshole, and I left thinking "screw this guy and his movies that are too nearly cut and paste jobs of movies he saw at that video store he worked at back in the day."
The only thing worse than walking into a bad movie that you have already decided you'll love (I'm looking at YOU Tim, AKA Ghost Rider-boy) is walking into a good movie that you are going to hate because it was made by someone who may or may not be a giant prick. Realistically, if I stopped watching movies that were made by jerks I'd have a hell of a lot more time on my hands.
But even if I wanted to hate Death Proof I couldn't because it was that damn good. Finally I get to see a movie with women who seriously kick some ass. Can't say enough about Zoe Bell.
She. Was. Awesome.
My only regret in regard to this movie is that I haven't seen it 8 times already, and that the only time I did see it I made the mistake of drinking a giant coke before I went and then getting another to enjoy during the movie. There are people who have criticised Quentin Tarantino for making his contribution too talky. I didn't mind too much as it afforded me the opportunity to pee without really missing any of the action.
Shockingly, Grindhouse rates an "Oh Hells Yes" on the Mr. Blunderson scale. Now get your ass out there and see it.
It sucks because ever since I saw it, no other movie even looks interesting to me. After seeing it, I spent the next few days pouring over every bit of Grindhouse discussion I could find on the Internet. I even read the reviews those blowhards at Ain't It Cool wrote. I couldn't get enough... hell, I still can't. Even now, 4 days later as I write this review, I am considering drugging my son so I can ditch my stay at home dad duties for 3 hours and 15 minutes (make it three and a half so I can get there early for snacks and a good seat) and take it all in again.
Grindhouse rules from frame one and rules more as it goes on (and on and on and on), and a big "Fuck You" to anyone who hasn't seen this movie yet (especially if you are one of those jerks paying money to keep Are We Done Yet? solid at the three spot). This movie is all you need. You will NEVER get as much for your entertainment dollar than at this film, and that's not because it's a double feature. I had my 8 bucks worth after the first faux trailer (Machete) and if the world had ended at that point I would have been burned to an apocalyptic crisp with a geek-happy smile from one ear to the other.
I'm not going to say much about Planet Terror since anyone who knows me knows I can not be partial when it comes to Robert Rodriguez (who should clone himself so he can make more movies) who incidentally knocked it out of the park with this one. Great cast. Great everything, even the peg-leg love. Hysterical.
If I had any reservations going into Grindhouse (besides the fear of panic attacks) was that I wouldn't like the Tarantino portion (Death Proof). This is not because I don't like his movies (quite the opposite) but when I saw the Grindhouse panel at Comic Con he came across to me as a magnanimous asshole, and I left thinking "screw this guy and his movies that are too nearly cut and paste jobs of movies he saw at that video store he worked at back in the day."
The only thing worse than walking into a bad movie that you have already decided you'll love (I'm looking at YOU Tim, AKA Ghost Rider-boy) is walking into a good movie that you are going to hate because it was made by someone who may or may not be a giant prick. Realistically, if I stopped watching movies that were made by jerks I'd have a hell of a lot more time on my hands.
But even if I wanted to hate Death Proof I couldn't because it was that damn good. Finally I get to see a movie with women who seriously kick some ass. Can't say enough about Zoe Bell.
She. Was. Awesome.
My only regret in regard to this movie is that I haven't seen it 8 times already, and that the only time I did see it I made the mistake of drinking a giant coke before I went and then getting another to enjoy during the movie. There are people who have criticised Quentin Tarantino for making his contribution too talky. I didn't mind too much as it afforded me the opportunity to pee without really missing any of the action.
Shockingly, Grindhouse rates an "Oh Hells Yes" on the Mr. Blunderson scale. Now get your ass out there and see it.
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