REVIEW - Snakes on a Plane

by Mr. Blunderson

written by Sheldon Turner, Sebastian Gutierrez, Jonathan Heffernan, David Dalessandro
directed by David R. Ellis
theatrical release - Aug 18, 2006
rated R - 105 Minutes

By now everyone knows the story of the "little premise that could." This is the film that blew up on the internet before anyone had even seen a trailer thanks to the name alone. Based on said buzz additional scenes were shot to garner the R rating and include Samuel L Jackson doing what he does best. Producers told the press that the fans deserved to see this movie first as the reason they didn't screen it for critics. Despite opening at number 1 (beating out Talladega Nights no less) Snakes on a Plane dropped off the radar at the US box office faster than David Koechner can say "Whammy!"

After finally seeing it for myself I can only think of one glaring problem with the movie. The first few minutes are a total waste of time and they don't match with the tone of the rest of the film. They develop a villain that isn't present for the rest of the movie and takes up time that would have been better spent doing absolutely anything else. 5 minutes of me tying my shoes in double knots would have been better. Does it really matter that much why we got the snakes on the plane? Of course not. It only matters that there are snakes on the plane. Other than that it's a great ride.

Keeping that in mind, there is little point trying to defend anything that transpires from fade out to fade in. There are snakes, a plane, mayhem, and most of all Sam Jackson kicking ass. It ain't Shakespeare, but it's a hell of a lot of fun. That's why I give Snakes on a Plane a "your loss if you hate it" on the Mr. Blunderson scale.

Why I live at the B.O. (box office, that is)

commentary and general lamentation
by Mr. Blunderson

Actually, my family isn't so crazy that they've driven me to a ridiculously inhospitable place for shelter... yet, but I am intrigued by one film that after six weeks is still cruising like a champ at the good old B.O. Of course I am referring to a little film I like to call Knocked Up.

Here's a film that was not a sequel, wasn't based on a TV show or a book or even a toy, severely lacking eye popping special effects or CG animation, unabashedly R-Rated, and it didn't even have a single proven big name star (unless you count cameos). Yet after six weeks it remains in the top ten at the box office having more than quadrupled it's production budget.

It warms my heart to see a small film doing so well in theaters. Crazy that a 30 million dollar film could be called "small" but compared to the barrage of "blockbuster" behemoths visiting theaters this season, Knocked Up seems like a tiny spec barely visible to the naked eye. It's also nice to see a good movie doing well, as there aren't enough of those out there any more. So many films today are big and loud and expensive but seem to come up short in the end. It's those little things like plot or character development that bring down the awesome giants that really do have so much potential. Too bad. Too, too bad.

It's also hard to believe how many huge movies have come out this year. When I was younger there were always summer movies but no way was there another huge epic something or other coming next week, and the next, and the next. It's such a rush to make money though that "quality" film gets harder and harder to find.

But it is a business. Movies are made to suck money out of my wallet and place it into the hands of people whose toilets cost more than my car. That won't be changing. There is also very little I can do to make those big-time summer spectacles be all that they can be. All I can do is remain ever vigilant for those movies that do rule and savor them that much more.

And when I find them you can bet your ass I'll tell you about them here.