Review - FROZEN

by Mr. Blunderson
(spoilers)

Adam Green's Frozen illustrates everything that is wrong with winter. It's cold and wet out there and who the hell needs that, right? And you wonder why I never want to leave the house. I don't like heights. I don't like being out in the snow. I don't even really like being outside. On those factors alone this movie could be terrifying to a guy like me.

That said, Frozen was a little uneven. It was predictable in the sense that it was clear from the outset who was going to bite it first. It was the classic "third wheel formula that leaves the characters being at the greatest odds to survive the longest" because that tension/dynamic is interesting... so they tell me. And that's exactly how it played out here. It was also clear who was going to survive. It's the old "person who has the least experience/business surviving is the last man standing" device. I'm not saying it couldn't happen, only that I would have enjoyed the experience of watching this movie a lot more if it had deviated from those formulas.

As a caveat, I might have enjoyed this movie even with those those two aforementioned formulas if it had taken them and really swung for the fences with them. Maybe gone a little darker with a characters, or bleaker, or deeper... you get the idea.

Another beef I had was the fact that I didn't care much for these three people so I wasn't really invested in hoping they would survive. Honestly, I'm kind of sad they didn't all get eaten by a bear. Of course, bears generally hibernate during the winter because it's cold and wet out there and that just goes to show you that bears are fucking smart.

But I digress. There are no bears in this movie.

There is a pack of wolves though. I think it's really smart to hang around a ski resort if you are wolves hungry for human flesh. Lot of people falling down and whatnot. Easy pickins, right?

Just an observation.

The characters didn't quite land for me. I don't insist on everyone in every movie I watch being likable all the time, I am a realist. But when it came down to it I just couldn't get behind these three. Maybe I don't have to. Maybe no one does. But if even one of them could have connected with something in my brain just a tiny bit more this movie would have been riveting instead of feeling (broken record, sir) uneven.

What was good about this movie? Frozen has some moments of spectacular tension, a few cringe inducing visuals, and the snow itself is incredibly convincing. Overall this one is so close to being great but falls just a little short. The premise is brilliant, there are some excellent moments that were quite gripping. The worst thing about Frozen is that I seem to have written this review in one of those moods where saying anything nice is like chewing glass... I can't bring myself to do it.

Oh yes I can.

The cinematography was pretty damn good. Green's visuals heightened the sense of isolation and acrophobia (that's fear of heights, fellow jerks) and it didn't hurt that he shot the film in the greatest snow on earth (Ski Utah. Suck it everywhere else.)

All in all Frozen is better than bad so I give it a "why the hell not?" on the Mr. Blunderson scale.